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[THE FINAL BETRAYAL]


 

in a jail cell, a female mobian fox with reddish-orange fur and brown hair
 dressed in a black leather two-piece catsuit with a yellow bow upon her head sat in utter silence.


 Fiona Fox was no stranger to a prison cell. she'd been in so many, It seemed almost natural.

 but, oddly enough..she had no plans, or even thoughts of escape.
 her face that usually bore expressions of malice, and sinister cunning was now blank.

 Fiona had lost the will to live. She had no desire to go on.


 Not after the look *HE* gave her upon her arrest.


 a single tear fell down her cheek..followed by a soft sob. "what have I done?" muttered Fiona, under breath. "what have I done.."


 Just then, the sound of a lock unlatching was heard.
 Fiona watched as her cell door swung open..and, in walked a pair of male mobian Lynx' dressed in black.


 "On your feet, prisoner." spoke one of the Lynx' "Your 'trial' is underway."


 Fiona grimaced as she stood up. she stood still as the Lynx guard's shackled her wrists and ankles, and led her out of her cell.

 It was a long, LONG walk down the cold stone corridors.
 Fiona maintained her a dull, lifeless expression as she passed the other cells.


 Finally, Fiona was led through a pair of doors..and, into a large chamber.

 It certainly looked like a courtroom..but, was oriental in design.
 the reason of which was all too clear, as sitting atop the platform was "Conquering Storm", leader of the Raiju Ninja Clan.

C. Storm kept her cold eyes trained on Fiona as she was led to a podium.


 "Fiona Fox.." began C. Storm, her tone of voice hostile, yet calm. "You stand accused of dishonoring the Raiju Clan."

 C. Storm then smirked. "OR, should I say..Dishonoring my heir, "Rising Storm."


 C. Storm gestured over to a five year old overlander boy with reddish-brown hair, green eyes and wearing clothing similar to the Clan Leader.

 Fiona knew the boy all too well.


 "LIAR!!" shouted Fiona, suddenly. "His name is Felix, and he is MY SON!!"


 "SILENCE!!" snapped C. Storm, angrily "Do not shame yourself any further..or, I shall choose to skip this trial over in favor of an "Execution."


 Fiona glared at the Lynx..but, her anger soon ebbed upon seeing the look on Felix/R. Storm's face as *HE* looked at her.

 Fiona backed down, defeated.


 "good. Now..Let us begin." began C. Storm. "Reveal to the clan *YOUR* Story, Fiona Fox. Tell us all just who you are."


 Fiona looked down. sighing, she spoke up. "my story..began in the earliest days of the Robotnik War nearly a decade ago."


 C. Storm bore an amused smirk as she sat back in her chair. "go on."


 "I was one of many prisoners of Robotnik. At a camp where I was held, I shared a cell with Mighty Armadillo and Ray Squirrel of the Chaotix."


 "The Raiju Clan are familiar with the Chaotix." said C. Storm. "As the sole son of Constant Vigil of the Shinobi Clan is one of them."


 "yes..Well, we tried to escape once. But, we failed." continued Fiona. "I was taken to a private cell, while Mighty and Ray were saved by Sonic the Hedgehog."

 Fiona looked down "I was..l-left behind. Abandoned."


 C. Storm bore no sympathy for Fiona..though, Felix/R. Storm looked at Fiona with soft eyes.


 "When It became apparent that NOBODY was coming to save me, I decided to save myself." continued Fiona.

 "That became my whole ideology: Rely on no one, Trust NO ONE."


 "a wise policy on certain occasions." said C. Storm. "But, to live life with no real loyalty is to live a dishonorable life."

 Fiona scowled at Conquering Storm. "you think I give a-"


 "Let us get right to the point of this Trial." began C. Storm, cutting off Fiona. "Tell us how you first encountered Rising Storm."


 Fiona growled hatefully at the Lynx. "I was with the Suppression Squad at the time. We were doing what we usually do: Spreading Chaos, Mayhem, and just doing whatever we pleased.

  Scourge, my boyfriend at the time, chose to loot an Overlander Town that Eggman had recently attacked. the town's people had already deserted, leaving RIPE for the taking."


 Fiona breathed out softly as she recalled her next memory. "While we scavenged the place..I found a three year old boy wandering the streets. he was alone..and, calling for his mother and father."

 Fiona choked up. "I knew then that like ME, he had been abandoned by his family..left to die.
  So, I took him back with me to Moebius..and, for three years I raised him, protected him, LOVED him."


 "and, then YOU left him to die." finished C. Storm, eyeing Fiona darkly.


 "NO!, It wasn't like that!!" protested Fiona.


 "Oh, I think It is." said C. Storm.

 "According to Rising Storm, You and the "Green Hedgehog" were doing some errands for the "Pastey Faced Echidna."
  you were attacked by the "Dog Men", resulting in the base being completely destroyed.

  He saw you..he looked you RIGHT in the eyes when you and "Scourge", is it?, made your escape through the "Magic Ring"..and, left him to his fate."


 Fiona gritted her teeth as she looked away. "scourge, he..he MADE me leave. he said he would either escape with me..or, alone."


 "So, you chose to save your own skin by sacrificing an innocent child that you PRETENDED to love." said C. Storm bitterly.


 "I DIDN'T PRETEND!, I *DO* LOVE HIM!!!" shouted Fiona, tears in her eyes.


 "You aren't fooling anyone, Fox. Truth is..This whole trial is unnecessary. I already know everything about you."

 C. Storm stood up, and looked down at Fiona.


 "I know that you were a mercenary, who was once with Nic Weasel, and the Destructix.
  I know you were once part of the Freedom Fighters, AND Sonic's girlfriend..until you betrayed them all for Scourge, and his Suppression Squad."


 Fiona looked visibly shocked. "How do you know tha-"


 "Trust No One", THAT is your philosophy." continued C. Storm. "but, you left out one other part of your creed: "Trust No One..and, use EVERYONE."

C. Storm smirked as she took a porcelain cup, and sipped some tea.

 "You are a Trickster, Fiona Fox. a "Twister of Truth." You lie, manipulate, and betray as if it were second to breathing.

  and, It is clear to everyone present that you never really loved "Felix", as you call him.
  no. you pretended to love him so he would trust you (looks at Fiona) just as that twin-tailed fox once did."


 Fiona bore a stunned expression on her face.


 "You tricked that poor boy into adopting you as his mother..Then, you go and have your revenge over your alleged abandonment by your parents by abandoning HIM."


 "no. n-no, that isn't-"


 "Trust No One" said C. Storm. "No doubt THAT is what you were hoping to teach him, yes? that NO ONE can be trusted..not even your own mother."


 "NO!!, THAT'S NOT TRUE!!! THAT'S-"


 "BE SILENT!, The Conquering Storm speaks." snapped C. Storm.

 as Fiona stared, C. Storm continued to speak. "The boy you CLAIM to love is lucky to be alive. Fortunately, while Finitevus base was falling apart, he stumbled upon one of his spare Warp Rings.

  the mystic talisman transported him HERE in the far east..right in Raiju Territory."


 C. Storm smiled as she sat back down..then, placed her hand on the silent boy in question. "Some of my clan were foolish enough to want to kill him..but, I was there to remind them of our bylaws regarding innocent children.

  We showed him customary hospitality. We fed him, clothed him, gave him a place to sleep.
  Normally, I would have had him sent to that fool Khan, and his so-called "Free People."

  but..I saw something in the child. Something that intrigued me.
  and, upon consulting with Endless Reach of the Gossamer Clan..I knew that his place was with US. with ME."


 "What are you talking about?!" said Fiona, confused.


 C. Storm smiled. "those arachnids foretold that the boy would grow to become powerful, a "Rising Storm" to be reckoned with." C. Storm grinned sinisterly. "My people value STRENGTH above all else. Rising Storm is destined to be mighty..and, who better than I to nurture such a prodigy."


 "BUT-!"


 "Enough!" snapped C. Storm, rising up suddenly. "Fiona Fox..you are UNWORTHY to call yourself his mother. he is part of the Raiju Clan, now.
  and, by betraying him..you have DISHONORED Me, and the Clan."


 C. Storm clenched her fist tightly. "and, for your dishonor..you will be put to DEATH. By dawns light, your head shall adorned my throne room as a warning to all of what happens when they cross-"


 "Master, WAIT!!"


 C. Storm looked to R. Storm angrily. "RISING STORM!, I did not give you permission to SPEAK!!"


 R. Storm bowed respectfully. "Forgive me, Master. but, PLEASE hear me out."


 C. Storm stared at the young child..then, breathed out. "very well..SPEAK."


 "Master, PLEASE. don't kill her."


 C. Storm scoffed at this. "She has betrayed you, Dishonored us. she MUST be punished."


 "Then, Punish her. but, PLEASE..don't take her life."


 Fiona was shocked at this. shocked that even after what she did, even after doing exactly what her parents did to her..her son STILL wanted mercy for her.

 C. Storm was also quite surprised.


 "Rising Storm, WHAT have I told you about showing compassion?!" said C. Storm, scolding R. Storm. "She is manipulating you. Using your feelings to save her own skin..AGAIN."


 the boy looked at the Lynx. "Maybe what I feel WAS just a lie..but, part of me wants to believe that SOME of It was real."

 R. Storm touched C. Storm's tunic. "please, mom. show her mercy..for ME?"


 Fiona felt hurt upon hearing her "son" address C. Storm as his "mother."
 C. Storm herself glared at her "son", feeling angry that he broke taboo by calling her "mother" in public.

 but, upon looking into his glossy green eyes..the Lynx cold heart ebbed.
 finally, she turned away from the boy. breathing out sharply.


 "very well, Rising Storm. for YOU, and nothing else." growled C. Storm darkly

 Conquering Storm then glared at Fiona again. "Fiona Fox..You deserve nothing but death for all you have done. BUT, I will share you mercy just. this. once."


 Fiona swallowed hard as she listened to what C. Storm said next.

 "You..shall live. Live for the rest of your life locked away the dungeon..where no one can hear your lies and deceit any longer."


 Fiona gasped at this. "but..But, you CAN'T!!"


 "Iron bars, or cold steel." growled C. Storm. "Take your pick. Either way, you won't be hurting the heir to the Raiju Clan anymore."


 C. Storm then snapped her fingers, prompting her guards to retrain and pick Fiona onto her feet.


 "Guards..Take her away to her "new home."


 As the Lynx Guards drug Fiona away, she fought against them and screamed.


 "no..No!, NO!! FELIX!! I'M SORRY, FELIX!!, I'M SO SORRY!! PLEASE..DON'T LET THEM DO THIS!!"


 Felix/R. Storm stayed close to C. Storm, clutching the cloth part of her tunic.


 "Felix, PLEASE!!" exclaimed Fiona again.


 the human child looked at Fiona fearfully. he then hid his face away..while C. Storm shielded him protectively.

 tears flowed down Fiona's stunned face. the realization of what she had done finally sinking in.


 "get that despicable creature out of my sight..NOW." commanded C. Storm, sternly.


 Fiona wept loudly as she was dragged away.
 once gone, Conquering Storm GLARED at Rising Storm.

 the boy stepped back, feeling a little scared of his Master, and Mother.


 "uhh.."


 "Go to your room, Rising Storm. and, await for me." said C. Storm, sternly. "You and I have MUCH to discuss."


the boy nodded sadly and he slowly turned, and walked away.




 [Later]


 Rising Storm sat quietly on his bed, swinging his tiny feet as he waited for his mother.

 just then, the door opened..and, in walked Conquering Storm.
 the Lynx cast a glare at the young child..then, removed her hat and approached the boy.


 "what have I taught you."


 "Mom, I-"


 "What HAVE I always taught you!!?" exclaimed C. Storm, demanding an answer.


 R. Storm gripped his arm as he spoke solemnly. "to..show compassion is to show weakness."


 "Exactly!, and no son of mine is going to be WEAK."


 "But, MOM!-"


 "DO NOT REBUKE YOUR MOTHER, and MASTER!!" snapped C. Storm.


 "B-But, I don't understand. WHY is is so bad to be kind to people!?"


 "Because people like that *FOX* will take advantage of your Kindness. They'll manipulate you..and, then stab you in the back when you least expect it!!"


 C. Storm then knelt down, and gripped R. Storm's shoulder. "DAMMIT, Rising Storm!! Don't you understand that I am only trying to protect you!!?"


 R. Storm looked at his mother with teary eyes. "Is It protecting me when you get angry every time I hug you, and say that I love you?!"


 C. Storm looked at R. Storm. "You know our ways. we cannot show ANY affection in publi-"


 "WHY!? Why are you so ashamed of me!!?" explained R. Storm, tears in his eyes. "Why can't I call you Mom!?, and..why won't you call me "son."


 R. Storm turned away before C. Storm could answer him. "It may have all been a lie..but, when Ms. Fiona hugged me, kissed me, and said that she loved me. It..it felt real. and, It made me happy to be loved."

 R. Storm then shed a tear. "or, at least..FEEL like I was loved."


 C. Storm looked at the boy with soft eyes. he he started to cry, maternal instincts overruled her Raiju Nature..and, she hugged the sobbing child.


 "oh, my son..I *DO* love you. That is why I have done all this, so she can't hurt you anymore.

 but, the ways of the Raiju Clan are sacred. I cannot afford to show affection to anyone..As leader of Raiju, I must be remain strong, and WITHOUT weakness."


 C. Storm then touched R. Storm's chin, making him look at her. "but, what I do and say in public..is NOT how I truly feel about you.
  I am not ashamed of you, I love you. You are my son..and, I know you will make me proud someday."


 R. Storm wept. he then embraced his adoptive mother, hugging her tightly. "I love you, mom."


 C. Storm smiled as she stroked his hair. "and, I love you, too."




 [Much Later]

 Fiona sat alone in her dark cell of cold, damp stone. her mind racing.
 she cried softly, wondering how things could have gone so wrong.

 She wanted to blame someone for her heartache.
 she wanted to blame her parents, Robotnik, Sonic, Scourge and even Conquering Storm herself!

 but, the more she thought..the MORE she realized that she had no one else to blame but herself.


 It was her choice..It was ALWAYS her choice.


 she shut her eyes tight as tears flowed down her cheek.


 *Fiona, No!, PLEASE!!* Fiona wept harder as the voice of Tails echoed in her head. *I-It's okay if you don't want to like me! I mean.."LIKE ME" Like me.
  but, PLEASE don't go with Scourge! I know you're good..All you have to do is try a little harder, and.*


 *Oh, Tails..you're so smart, but you haven't learned one fundamental lesson in life.* Fiona's body trembled as more tears threatened to break through. *You can't count on ANYBODY.*


 Fiona began to wail in anguish, a deep puddle forming at her feet.


 "oh, tails..why didn't I listen to you?" muttered Fiona. "I should have known Scourge was too selfish to care about anything but himself."


 Fiona gripped her arms, rubbing them. "now I've hurt the one thing I cared about the most."


 Fiona cried into her hands. "I..I am a monster. C-Conquering Storm should have just killed me. I..I wish I had never been born."


 As Fiona continued to cry..her cell door suddenly unlatched.
 she looked, and saw a familiar looking female Bat walk in.


 "tsk-tsk-tsk..Well, well, well. Look how the might have fallen." said Rouge, with a smirk.


 Fiona sneered at her old rival. "and, what do YOU want?! Have you come to gloat!?, well go on, get It over with. I don't care anymore."


 Rouge chuckled. "Oh, I didn't come here to Gloat..I came to "bust you out."


 Fiona raised an eyebrow as she stared at Rouge, Puzzled. "what?"


 Rouge smiled as she circled around Fiona. "I heard about your trial..Seemed pretty "fixed" if you ask me. and, Pretty neat how you NARROWING avoided having that pretty little head of yours becoming a decorative centerpiece."


 "GET to the point."


 Rouge drew out a file folder with the G.U.N. symbol stamped upon It. "THIS, is my point, Fi."

 Rouge tossed the folder at Fiona. the fox took It, and read the cover: "Task Force X?!"


 "That's the official name, BUT It also goes by another one."


 Fiona looked at Rouge. "Which IS??"


 Rouge grinned. "Suicide Squad. Think of It as a Black OPS unit, comprised of convicts.

  It's a simple gig, really: Complete some missions for GUN, and you'll be rewarded with Money, Freedom, and whatever else you greedy black heart desires."


 Fiona looked at Rouge. "You expect me to believe that Conquering Storm is just going to let you take me out of here?!"


 "OH, believe me, I had quite a time convincing her to let you go." said Rouge, chuckling. "BUT, when I informed her that there is a chance you WON'T survive the missions we are giving you..We made a compromise."


 Fiona looked at Rouge. "I'm listening."


 "Lead a team on some "suicide missions", and IF you succeed, you'll get your son back."


 "and, If I FAIL?"
Rouge chuckled. "What do *YOU* think?"


 Fiona looked at the file..then, sighed sharply. "Even if I DO succeed..my son no longer looks at me as his mother anymore. I betrayed his trust..betrayed and hurt him."


 "Look, whatever problems you have with the kid, I am SURE you can resolve on your own.
  But, if you WANT to have your son back, then you have two choices: Rot in here..or, work for ME."


 Fiona stared darkly at Rouge. after a few minutes, she finally spoke: "what KIND of mission do you have for me?"



 [The End?]

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Posted

An interesting fic.  It's good to see a more, for want of a better word, human side to Conquering Storm and Fiona.

However, I do have a couple of issues with it.  First the character of Felix/Rising Storm.  An Overlander Kid who is able to provoke maternal feelings in two of the darker female mobian characters in the franchise and be adopted by both?  AND is the center of a prophecy as well?  That screams Mary Sue character.

And second, Suicide Squad....?  Leaving aside the using 'suicide' in Sonic,  the idea of a bad guy squad doing missions for the good guys is a good one.  Heck, that's what Team Dark almost is.  But actually using the name from DC comics?  That's not even a homage, that's outright plagiarism.

Gotta say I also doubt CS would had the kid back over to Fiona regardless of what happened, but that could be Rouge lying, so I can;t really criticise that.

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An Overlander Kid who is able to provoke maternal feelings in two of the darker female mobian characters in the franchise
and be adopted by both?  AND is the center of a prophecy as well?  That screams Mary Sue character.

After Five Years on DA, I have learnt that everyone has their own different idea on what a "Mary-Sue" is.
with so many conflicting "rules", It is hard to tell which is fact, and which is just made-up.

the only rules that I have accepted as genuine are these..

1. a Mary-Su has a perfect life. he has NO problems, and everything comes easy for him/her.

2. EVERYBODY loves said character.

3. Characters is invincible.

Keeping those facts in mind, I think I have written this OC to NOT become a Mary-Su.
as he has problems from the start (orphaned and abandoned..TWICE, not everyone in the Raiju Clan seem to like him,
and, has difficulty getting Conquering Storm to express affection towards him.)

I also didn't mention "Prophecy" at all.
the spiders foresaw his future, but that doesn't mean he holds some "Cosmic Significance"

To sum It up, his existence in merely to give Fiona Fox reason to question her morality.
AND, give Conquering Storm a reason to show her humanity towards something.

not to mention downplay the whole "Great War" conflict between Humans/Overlanders and Mobians
(in truth, Conquering Storm here is like a darker version of Lupe. who ALSO adopted human children.)

 

Suicide Squad....?  Leaving aside the using 'suicide' in Sonic,
the idea of a bad guy squad doing missions for the good guys is a good one.

Heck, that's what Team Dark almost is.

But actually using the name from DC comics?  That's not even a homage, that's outright plagiarism.


It was intended to be an Homage, if anything.
not to mention I was looking at It from an unbiased perception, and figured the chances of the term "Suicide Squad" being used IN-Universe was fairly good.

then again, "Team Dark" could serve just as much the same purpose as as "The Squad"
so, my using the DC Comics team name may have been unnecessary.


To sum the whole thing up, This short story is really just "Practice" on my part.
experimenting an idea, seeing what works, and fixing the errors for when I do the main, Multi-chapter story.

In other words, This story was never 100% Canon (even by Fandom terms.)
while the concept remains intact, the technicalities behind It are subject to change.
(EX: Fiona and C. Storm's joint custody of the overlander boy, and Fiona's drafting into GUN is" canon".
        but, the term "suicide squad", and the "great prophecy" concepts may be removed, or altered.)

Hopefully this makes more sense to you

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Yeah, judging what is and isn't a Mary-Sue is pretty tricky (especially in Sonic when half the main cast could be classed as such).  I tend to use this test as a good yardstick: http://www.springhole.net/writing/marysue.htm .  And I find there are more.... degrees of Sue-ness as opposed to a straight Yes/No dichotomy.  And I would say not all Sue's follow rule 1.  Many have, if anything, an inverted version.  I.e. thier life has been SO horrible and tragic it would have broken anyone else.  Being adopted by two villains not noted for their generosity can be seen as Sue-ness.  And the Prophecy thing, well, usually when it's foretold someone will 'become powerful' it's a warning light as well.

I think my complaint is more.... he appears to have the potential to be a very Mary Sue character, having hallmarks of one.

And the second point, the trouble is (especially with the upcoming film) Suicide Squad is too well know to be a Homage, and makes it unfortunately come across as a copy.  I would personally disagree with the use of the Squad name in the Sonic verse, but that is a personal viewpoint, and of course everyone's fics are different.

And... having not written a fic myself it could be a little arrogant to sit in judgment like this.

As a practice story I would say it is good however.  I did enjoy it.  And the only other thing with it, aside from the two points I mentioned, was there were a few formatting issues, which I suspecte are caused due to it being copied from another source.

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I never really pay much attention to stuff like that, to me honest.

When I write characters, I write as if they are real people.
I never really consider internet tropes and gimmicks such as "Mary-Sues"

(and, from what I hear. Many people like my work BECAUSE I treat the characters in such a way.)


Truth is, *everyone* has a different opinion on a given subject.
and, not everyone is going to be happy with what kind of story or characters that you write.

This includes: "What makes a Mary-Sue", as as I said beforehand,
everyone has a different idea on what makes one a Mary-Sue.


With these shots, One also must remember that in reading them as stories.
they are like 'Opening a large book, and reading Page 55, instead of Page 01.'

the character APPEARS to be Mary-Suish because at this point, the readers knows little about the character.
but, this was only a "taste" of the whole storyline. and, once readers read the full, main story. things will make more sense.

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I wouldn't call them a gimmick, more a handy label of OTT characters.  And of course you shouldn't worry about that when writing.  If you are writing characters as real people, then they shouldn't end up as Sues by definition. 

 

And while I take your point about the fic only being a snap-shot of the characters life, it is the snap-shot you have chosen to show us.  And first impressions do count.

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And while I take your point about the fic only being a snap-shot of the characters life,
it is the snap-shot you have chosen to show us.  And first impressions do count.


Then, It is a good thing that even whenever I DO these practice/first draft fictions,
I still strive to write them with 150% effort, and do things right the first time around.

the important thing is that you liked the concept Itself, despite your concerns over certain things.
and, being the optimistic writer, I try and look at things from that perspective. 

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For a first draft, this is very impressive.  Few writers can pull off first-drafts being ready to be seen.

And yes, I did enjoy the concept.  I'm afraid I'm not great at praise (I always make it sound so hollow) but aside from those two points I very much enjoy reading your story, and would like to see more of Fiona working for GUN and her relationship with Felix.

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