ClereenPuppy

Another 2 chapters have been added now :3

hi :3 I am new here. I thought I could show you guys my Sonic X based fanfiction while I'm here. It's INCOMPLETE at the moment but I am working on it in my spare time and hope to update whenever I can. There are 4 chapters so far. It's a story where my OC stumbles upon the main sonic characters in sonic x situation. It starts with a sonic x setting and a few things to do with the first few episodes of sonic x but then it goes into its own tangent with just the sonic characters so really you don't need to worry about knowing much about sonic x. I have give you a WARNING right now as it does have major personality changes for the characters. If you don't think you will like that then you may not want to try reading it. It also had ADULT LANGUAGE nothing really bad but a few f words and s words and such as would probably be in normal conversation considering some of the things that happen. There is also quite big of action so there is VIOLENCE but nothing too detailed and there are CHARACTER DEATHS in this but I wont tell you who as that would be spoilers so I hope you like it and any feedback would be greatly appreciated. I am not a great writer and my grammar isn't perfect. This is my first fanfiction so bare with me. Thank you for reading and have a nice day :3 http://www.quotev.com/story/7383327/Sonic-X-Clereens-Story

glad you could find it useful. I always feel a little bad to criticise but I also know that I loved it when someone was actually honest with me and criticised my work sometimes so I try to do the same thing in the nicest way possible :3

creepy. I like it. I have to say, it might be an idea to separate the speech with new paragraphs. Its a pain I know but it's difficult to read otherwise. I found that with my fanfiction. I also think maybe the beginning may have a little too descriptive. Less is more as they say. I can understand you may want to explain that her name is shadow in Japanese and that Kage is her shadow but I think it would have been stronger if you left that to the guessing of the reader. I hope that makes sense. Otherwise, I think this is great. The way you showed how horrifying it was and how she felt and discussion between her and kage was great. :3

Although I must admit I don't know the characters well (as I am not familiar with everything in the sonic fandom, especially when it comes to SATAM) I must say I love this story. It is very well written with the dialogue and description done pretty much perfect as far as I can tell. The twist of her pregnancy was certainly compelling and executed well so I was genuinely surprised. I also found Danny's anger very believable and understandable. Without too much description of how each of the characters felt, I could still understand and feel their emotions. There were some spelling errors here and there but apart from that your writing skills were good to. I don't read fanfiction that often so my opinion may not be of much value but I liked it :3