Writing a fanfic in progress and could use some feedback

[ShadowSJG 0]

So I'm currently in the process of writing a Sonic crossover fic. It's an adventure/humour fic written in the style of a series/show, with loosely connected plot and it's a crossover with mlp( I know some people don't like this, but please bear with me.) I am making edits to it so far and I could use some feedback if someone is willing to do so. However, I am in the process of writing my first storyline for the story, so you could either look at the chapters before it, or the storyline. Either is fine for me.